Coping With Breaking Up

Are You Having a Very Hard Time Coping After Break-up?


We all deal with break-ups differently. Some people find they are having a very hard time coping after break-up while others seem to glide right though with little or no lasting effects. There are a lot of mitigating factors that will impact how well or poorly you respond to the news of your break-up. Some of the things below might have a direct bearing on how well you find yourself dealing with the impact.

If you are having a very hard time coping after break-up think long and hard as to whether or not any of these might have exacerbated your pain.

Length of the Relationship

While some relationships are hot, intense, and brief, it is normally the longer lived relationships that bring the greatest pain upon ending. Years spent together, sharing meals, sharing dreams for the future and plans for today can really bond a couple. Calling it quits can be quite devastating in the best of circumstances. It is certainly understandable why you would be having a very hard time coping after break-up in this particular situation.

Number of Relationships Prior to this One

This is another large mitigating factor. First love or relationships by those who have had few serious relationships often tend to be a little more intense than some of the more established relationships or than those relationships that were never intended to become serious in the first place. Not all relationships, after all, are seeking “happily ever after.” Those who have less experience are more likely to find themselves having a very hard time coping after break-up.

Expectations of the Relationships

Honestly, if you believed that this was “the one” then you are probably feeling more than a little devastated over the break-up. If your partner hinted that the feeling was mutual it can be even more difficult. There is nothing wrong with having a very hard time coping after break-up especially if you had expectations that the relationship was headed somewhere deeper and were caught completely by surprised.

Level of Commitment

This is another thing that really impacts how devastating a relationship can be. If you have been living together for a while and have lives that are completely intertwined (married or not) then you are likely to find yourself having a very hard time coping after break-up. Much worse than if you had been dating for a few weeks, maybe even a few months but didn’t have an official commitment, weren’t making plans to move in together or get married, and didn’t feel the need for something more formal or binding.

In the end though, it doesn’t really matter if you had been married for 20 years or only known each other for 2 days. Relationships that end often leave one person in the mix hurting.

About the Author

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